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[corporateipsum]

Linkcorporateipsum
AuthorJohan Solve
CategoryUtility
Version8.x
LicensePublic Domain
Posted16 May 2007
Updated16 May 2007
More by this author...

Description

This tag is a port of the Corporate Ipsum Dashboard widget by Brian Haslanger. It generates corporate mumbo jumbo placeholder text with an option to generate classic Lorem Ipsum text.

Interactively repurpose backward-compatible bandwidth and wireless schemas. Incentivize 2.0 niche markets before client-focused outsourcing.  Enhance out-of-the-box experiences through ubiquitous technologies. Conveniently harness process-centric customer service after virtual products.

Sample Usage

corporateipsum; // generates the default 400 words of corporate buzzwords. 
corporateipsum(-html); // wraps paragraphs in 

tags corporateipsum(200, -latin); // generates about 200 words of classic Lorem Ipsum

Source Code

Click the "Download" button below to retrieve a copy of this tag, including the complete documentation and sample usage shown on this page. Place the downloaded ".inc" file in your LassoStartup folder, restart Lasso, and you can begin using this tag immediately.

 size);
		return(#input -> get(#index));
	/define_tag;


	define_tag('sentence');
	
		local('adverbs' = Array (
		'appropriately', 'assertively', 'authoritatively', 'collaboratively', 'compellingly', 'competently', 'completely',
		'continually', 'conveniently', 'credibly', 'distinctively', 'dramatically', 'dynamically', 'efficiently',
		'energistically', 'enthusiastically', 'globally', 'holisticly', 'interactively', 'intrinsicly', 'monotonectally',
		'objectively', 'phosfluorescently', 'proactively', 'professionally', 'progressively', 'quickly', 'rapidiously',
		'seamlessly', 'synergistically', 'uniquely'
		));
	
		local('verbs' = Array (
		'actualize', 'administrate', 'aggregate', 'architect', 'benchmark', 'brand', 'build', 'communicate', 'conceptualize',
		'coordinate', 'create', 'cultivate', 'customize', 'deliver', 'deploy', 'develop', 'disintermediate', 'disseminate',
		'drive', 'embrace', 'e-enable', 'empower', 'enable', 'engage', 'engineer', 'enhance', 'envisioneer', 'evisculate',
		'evolve', 'expedite', 'exploit', 'extend', 'fabricate', 'facilitate', 'fashion', 'formulate', 'foster', 'generate',
		'grow', 'harness', 'impact', 'implement', 'incentivize', 'incubate', 'initiate', 'innovate', 'integrate', 'iterate',
		'leverage existing', 'leverage other\'s', 'maintain', 'matrix', 'maximize', 'mesh', 'monetize', 'morph', 'myocardinate',
		'negotiate', 'network', 'optimize', 'orchestrate', 'parallel task', 'plagiarize', 'pontificate', 'predominate',
		'procrastinate', 'productivate', 'productize', 'promote', 'provide access to', 'pursue', 'recaptiualize',
		'reconceptualize', 'redefine', 're-engineer', 'reintermediate', 'reinvent', 'repurpose', 'restore', 'revolutionize',
		'scale', 'seize', 'simplify', 'strategize', 'streamline', 'supply', 'syndicate', 'synergize', 'synthesize', 'target',
		'transform', 'transition', 'underwhelm', 'unleash', 'utilize', 'visualize', 'whiteboard'
		));
	
		local('adjectives' = Array (
		'24/7', '24/365', 'accurate', 'adaptive', 'alternative', 'an expanded array of', 'B2B', 'B2C', 'backend',
		'backward-compatible', 'best-of-breed', 'bleeding-edge', 'bricks-and-clicks', 'business', 'clicks-and-mortar',
		'client-based', 'client-centered', 'client-centric', 'client-focused', 'collaborative', 'compelling',  'competitive',
		'cooperative', 'corporate', 'cost effective', 'covalent', 'cross functional', 'cross-media', 'cross-platform',
		'cross-unit', 'customer directed', 'customized', 'cutting-edge', 'distinctive', 'distributed', 'diverse', 'dynamic',
		'e-business', 'economically sound', 'effective', 'efficient', 'emerging', 'empowered', 'enabled', 'end-to-end',
		'enterprise', 'enterprise-wide', 'equity invested', 'error-free', 'ethical', 'excellent', 'exceptional', 'extensible',
		'extensive', 'flexible', 'focused', 'frictionless', 'front-end', 'fully researched', 'fully tested', 'functional',
		'functionalized', 'future-proof', 'global', 'go forward', 'goal-oriented', 'granular', 'high standards in',
		'high-payoff', 'high-quality', 'highly efficient', 'holistic', 'impactful', 'inexpensive', 'innovative',
		'installed base', 'integrated', 'interactive', 'interdependent', 'intermandated', 'interoperable', 'intuitive',
		'just in time', 'leading-edge', 'leveraged', 'long-term high-impact', 'low-risk high-yield', 'magnetic',
		'maintainable', 'market positioning', 'market-driven', 'mission-critical', 'multidisciplinary', 'multifunctional',
		'multimedia based', 'next-generation', 'one-to-one', 'open-source', 'optimal', 'orthogonal', 'out-of-the-box',
		'pandemic', 'parallel', 'performance based', 'plug-and-play', 'premier', 'premium', 'principle-centered', 'proactive',
		'process-centric', 'professional', 'progressive', 'prospective', 'quality', 'real-time', 'reliable', 'resource sucking',
		'resource maximizing', 'resource-leveling', 'revolutionary', 'robust', 'scalable', 'seamless', 'stand-alone',
		'standardized', 'standards compliant', 'state of the art', 'sticky', 'strategic', 'superior', 'sustainable',
		'synergistic', 'tactical', 'team building', 'team driven', 'technically sound', 'timely', 'top-line', 'transparent',
		'turnkey', 'ubiquitous', 'unique', 'user-centric', 'user friendly', 'value-added', 'vertical', 'viral', 'virtual',
		'visionary', 'web-enabled', 'wireless', 'world-class', 'worldwide', '2.0'
		));
	
		local('nouns' = Array (
		'action items', 'alignments', 'applications', 'architectures', 'bandwidth', 'benefits',
		'best practices', 'catalysts for change', 'channels', 'collaboration and idea-sharing', 'communities', 'content',
		'convergence', 'core competencies', 'customer service', 'data', 'deliverables', 'e-business', 'e-commerce', 'e-markets',
		'e-tailers', 'e-services', 'experiences', 'expertise', 'functionalities', 'growth strategies', 'human capital',
		'ideas', 'imperatives', 'infomediaries', 'information', 'infrastructures', 'initiatives', 'innovation',
		'intellectual capital', 'interfaces', 'internal or "organic" sources', 'leadership', 'leadership skills',
		'manufactured products', 'markets', 'materials', 'meta-services', 'methodologies', 'methods of empowerment', 'metrics',
		'mindshare', 'models', 'networks', 'niches', 'niche markets', 'opportunities', '"outside the box" thinking', 'outsourcing',
		'paradigms', 'partnerships', 'platforms', 'portals', 'potentialities', 'process improvements', 'processes', 'products',
		'quality vectors', 'relationships', 'resources', 'results', 'ROI', 'scenarios', 'schemas', 'services', 'solutions',
		'sources', 'strategic theme areas', 'supply chains', 'synergy', 'systems', 'technologies', 'technology',
		'testing procedures', 'total linkage', 'users', 'value', 'vortals', 'web-readiness', 'web services'
		));
		
		local('conjunctions' = Array (
		'through', 'via', 'vis-a-vis', 'with', 'without', 'and', 'before', 'after', 'whereas', 'for', 'rather than'
		));
		
		local('statement' = '');
		
		math_random(-lower=1, -upper=3) == 1 ? #statement += ' ' + randomarray(#adverbs);
		#statement += ' ' + randomarray(#verbs);
		#statement += ' ' + randomarray(#adjectives);
		#statement += ' ' + randomarray(#nouns);
		#statement += ' ' + randomarray(#conjunctions);
		#statement += ' ' + randomarray(#adjectives);
		#statement += ' ' + randomarray(#nouns);
		#statement -> trim;
		#statement = #statement + '. ';
		
		#statement -> toUpper(1);
		return(#statement);
	
	/define_tag;
	
	define_tag('latin');
		local('latin' = Array(
		"lorem", "ipsum", "dolor", "sit", "amet", "consectetuer", "adipiscing", "elit", "sed", "diam", "nonummy",
		"nibh", "euismod", "tincidunt", "ut", "laoreet", "dolore", "magna", "aliquam", "erat", "volutpat", "ut",
		"wisi", "enim", "ad", "minim", "veniam", "quis", "nostrud", "exerci", "tation", "ullamcorper", "suscipit", 
		"lobortis", "nisl", "ut", "aliquip", "ex", "ea", "commodo", "consequat", "duis", "autem", "vel", "eum", 
		"iriure", "dolor", "in", "hendrerit", "in", "vulputate", "velit", "esse", "molestie", "consequat", "vel", 
		"illum", "dolore", "eu", "feugiat", "nulla", "facilisis", "at", "vero", "eros", "et", "accumsan", "et", 
		"iusto", "odio", "dignissim", "qui", "blandit", "praesent", "luptatum", "zzril", "delenit", "augue", 
		"duis", "dolore", "te", "feugait", "nulla", "facilisi", "nam", "liber", "tempor", "cum", "soluta", "nobis", 
		"eleifend", "option", "congue", "nihil", "imperdiet", "doming", "id", "quod", "mazim", "placerat", "facer", 
		"possim", "assum", "typi", "non", "habent", "claritatem", "insitam", "est", "usus", "legentis", "in", "iis", 
		"qui", "facit", "eorum", "claritatem", "Investigationes", "demonstraverunt", "lectores", "legere", "me", "lius", 
		"quod", "ii", "legunt", "saepius", "claritas", "est", "etiam", "processus", "dynamicus", "qui", "sequitur", 
		"mutationem", "consuetudium", "lectorum", "mirum", "est", "notare", "quam", "littera", "gothica", "quam", "nunc", 
		"putamus", "parum", "claram", "anteposuerit", "litterarum", "formas", "humanitatis", "per", "seacula", "quarta", 
		"decima", "et", "quinta", "decima", "eodem", "modo", "typi", "qui", "nunc", "nobis", "videntur", "parum", "clari", 
		"fiant", "sollemnes", "in", "futurum"
		));
	
		local('statement' = '');
		
		local('random' = randomarray(#latin));
		#random -> toUpper(1);
		#statement = #random;
		
		loop(math_random(-lower=3, -upper=6));
			#statement += ' ' + randomarray(#latin);
		/loop;
	
		#statement += '. ';
		
		return(#statement);
	
	/define_tag;

	!local_defined('words') ? local('words'=400);
	local('uselatin'=local_defined('latin'));
	local('output'=array,
		'output_chars'=0,
		'temp_words'=0,
		'output_words'=0,
		'sentence'=string);

	while(#output_words < #words && loop_count < 10000);
		#sentence=string;
		loop(math_random(-lower=7, -upper=11));
			#sentence += (#uselatin ? latin | sentence);
			#temp_words = #sentence -> split(' ') -> size;
			#output_words + #temp_words > #words ? loop_abort;
		/loop;
		#output_chars += #sentence -> size;
		#output_words += #temp_words;
		#output -> insert(#sentence);
	/while;
	if(local_defined('html'));
		return(@('

' + #output -> join('

') + '

')); else; return(@(#output -> join('\n\n'))); /if; /define_tag; ?>

Comments

29 May 2007, Greg Hemphill

both funny and usefull... that's great.

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